


Christmas Omens

by porgsploitation



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale is too, Christmas, Christmasfic, Dark Stuff, Gabriel is kind of a dick, Gen, Implied Gabriel backstory, M/M, and Jesus is just sort of chill, good omens - Freeform, really Crowley is the victim here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:14:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21980755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porgsploitation/pseuds/porgsploitation
Summary: Aziraphale accidentally spends Christmas in Heaven and learns something about his boss. Nobody really wins during any sort of holiday.Belated Christmas Fic. Part One of Four. Positive(ish) Gabriel depiction.In fact, he was beginning to suspectGabrieldisliked Christmas which was ironic because it was sort ofhis holiday. Not literally, not even Gabriel would claim that. Around this time of year Gabriel acted like a proper archangel and a proper boss and Aziraphale was forced to actually - well -work.---
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	Christmas Omens

26 In the sixth month of Elizabeth's pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, 27 to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. 28 The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."

29 Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. 30 But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. 31 You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. 32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, 33 and he will reign over Jacob's descendants forever; his kingdom will never end."

34 "How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"

35 The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. 36 Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. 37 For no word from God will ever fail." - Luke 1:26-38  
\---

Aziraphale disliked Christmas.

No. Disliked was too strong a word. He did not _dislike_ Christmas persay - there were parts of it he utterly adored. He loved Crowley making drunken jokes at the expense of people in restaurants, he adored the feeling of warmth and love that lasted from the 24 through the 25. He loved the shops, the sweets, the Christmas carols, the gifts human beings gave one another. He had even been given a few _himself_. In some cases they were returned, but in many and more they were opened and enjoyed and he gifted several himself.  
No, he enjoyed the holiday. He did not enjoy his angelic duties, primarily the required attendance Christmas party. He also didn’t enjoy Gabriel’s almost daily requests for reports, miracle documentation, and other communication. Not even daily, _hourly_. Whereas the rest of the year Aziraphale could get away with a well detailed note on parchment, Gabriel - pardon the expression - _crawled up his ass_ and curled there like a particularly loathesome slug. He was _always_ on earth, always poking into things, always asking - even asking about human things. Annoyed. Distant.

In fact, he was beginning to suspect _Gabriel_ disliked Christmas which was ironic because it was sort of _his holiday_. Not literally, not even Gabriel would claim that. Around this time of year Gabriel acted like a proper archangel and a proper boss and Aziraphale was forced to actually - well - _work_. Standing outside in the early snow flurries as people hummed carols _listening_ to the archangel drone on, Aziraphale’s mind wandered. The humans were relaxing. The irony being that angels and the forces of darkness were not. Hangs in fine leather gloves, he gazed blearily back to the papers Gabriel was trying to force on him.

“So I need you to fill out this new form in triplicate-”

_Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…_

“...And I need you to file the pink copies with processing, the blue with Uriel, and the white go to me. Directly. _quickly_.”

_...Jack Frost nipping at your nose…_

Wrapped up in a dark blue jacket Aziraphale spotted a little boy in a pair of silver wings and a silver halo yelling up at his mother. They rounded the corner as Gabriel somehow - _somehow_ kept talking-

“...I’m serious. This is going to shorten our turn around time Aziraphale-” The archangel looked annoyed, coat blowing about him before he glared upward and the wind died down, “Are you listening to me?”

He wasn’t. He was watching the boy and his mother. The little boy’s bright green eyes were full of joy as he twisted and turned holding his mother’s hand.

“I’m an angel mama! I’m Gabriel! I wanna do the line!” the boy’s eyes _shone_ and Aziraphale tried to recall if Gabriel had ever _actually looked that happy._ The archangel muttered something incredibly inappropriate and began rifling through his papers again, rolling his eyes at his earthly agent.

“Jimmy we’re going to be late for the rehearsal and then you won’t get to do any lines at all.” The mother, a tired woman with frizzy dark hair that stuck out all over her head sighed, She reached for her phone, swearing as the little boy ran _up_ to Aziraphale and beamed at him. Hands behind him, teeth wide, the child was doing his best to look cherubic and given that he had met actual cherubs he was doing a good job.

“‘M Gabriel in the Christmas play Mister.! Want to hear my line for the christmas play?” he pointed, “‘m over at the church of holiest miracles down t’street and I beat out Chris Stevens for t’role cause he’s an idiot and I get t’most lines.”

Briefly, Aziraphale reflected, whoever had cast the pageant, cast perfectly for Gabriel. The little boy was so sincere though, so very sweet, he found himself smiling in a way he didn’t with his boss.

The irony, the sheer irony was enough to make the season blessed. He could stand years of prattling to have this happen. Aziraphale beamed back, “...My friend and I would be honored.” He gestured, grinning inwardly at the thought the little boy was performing Gabriel’s own message he’d delivered all those years ago, “He’s an actor himself you know. He loves to talk-” Aziraphale turned to Gabriel to find the archangel on his phone. The little boy looked crestfallen but Aziraphale gestured, “Say it to me then. He wouldn’t know talent if it bit him on the nose. Go on!”

“Okay.” The boy gathered himself, “Hail Mary full of Grace! You are highly favored among...amongst womens!” the boy beamed, “I get to wear a halo and wings and a pretty dress and-”

“James Cardinal!” His mother appeared and the little boy yelped. She grabbed her son by the shoulder and smiled weakly at Aziraphale and Gabriel in turn, “...I am so sorry. We were running late I truly hope he wasn’t bothering either of you…” her exhausted smile warmed Aziraphale’s heart.

“Oh it’s fine. He was perfectly lovely-”

“It’s women.” 

Aziraphale turned to find the archangel had made his icloud vanish and was staring at the boy, “It’s “Hail Mary full of Grace, highly favored amongst _women_ , not womens. And it’s not a dress. It’s a robe. And it wasn’t sparkly so kid, your interpretation? Is fucking off.” 

The little boy stepped back and looked hurt, “...Is sparkly…”

“Yeah and it wasn’t. It was cold and nasty outside and I was freezing my ass off so. Wrong.” He pointed a finger at him and went back to his phone call, phone appearing out of nowhere,“I’m trying to get back up there, calm down…”

The mother had heard and Aziraphale stepped back as the woman approached like a mother bear.

“That’s my _son._ ” the mother of James Cardinal held her son and pressed a hand over his ears, “Asshole. If he wants to wear a sparkly dress-”

“Lady I don’t care what he wants to wear. He can wear a tutu but if he’s in a Christmas play he should look accurate and not like a fucking Christmas tree topper. I’m _just saying_ that - you’re wrong and you’re making him look stupid.” 

Aziraphale stared at him, awed, “... _Gabriel._ ”

“Up yours Jackass.” The woman flipped him the finger and trotted away from the pair as Gabriel _beamed_ in her direction. He raised a hand and waved, “...Merry Christmas!”

Aziraphale very rarely stood up for himself amongst his fellow angels. The habit of obedience was well trained in each of them. From finely tuned pigeons to finely tuned hunting hounds as the hierarchy of heavenly creatures went, they obeyed and bowed to their higher orders. The universe had to run on time. It had no time for late trains, late miracles, late deaths and the groupthink that Aziraphale participated in was real. This however-

The little boy was staring at them with wide eyes, his little halo slung over his head as Aziraphale followed his boss back into the bookshop genuinely upset. Standing up for humans was a different matter.

 _Genuinely_. Outside humans sang songs and played carols and wished each other a Merry Christmas. In his shop, the sense of love was drowned out by the being going through his desk like an annoyed dog looking for a lost bone, “... _Gabriel_. How could you? He was _you_ , playing you. I would have thought you would have been overjoyed maybe sat the boy down and...you know...given him a few tips…”

The archangel had moved to his desk pointedly ignoring him. Shoving the wooden rolltop open - that desk was several hundred years old, he growled in frustration.

“Aziraphale when are you going to start using the organizer you were given last Christmas? I can’t find any of your expense accounts. And it _stinks_ of evil did you put those Jeffery Archer book things in here?” He flipped open a door and wrinkled his nose, “...It’s disgusting.”

Crowley had lounged all over it two nights ago like a curling creeping vine. Frowning, the principality waved a hand and a drawer opened beneath the archangel’s fingers. 

“The boy-”

“I’m busy and he was wrong. Why should I care? He’s lucky I _did_ care.” he pointed a finger at the principality, “I was giving him good advice.”

“You were rude.” Aziraphale trembled, “You hurt his feelings…” the principality glanced out the window and wondered if he could find some way to do something nice for him. The church of the holiest miracles was several blocks down but he found the bells soothing. It’s own sort of heavenly charm, “...It was ...very unkind…”

“I don’t have time for this…” The archangel found what he was looking for, glaring at Aziraphale, “You don’t have a good filing system at all. Fix it or I’ll report you.”

“Really. At Christmas? We’re supposed to be on our best behavior.” Aziraphale felt his own temper rise and he slammed his hand down on the top of the wooden desk with a snarl, “... This is our holiday and you treated that little boy like ...well. Terribly. Just terribly. Evilly even-”

The drawer slammed closed and Aziraphale _knew_ he’d said the wrong thing. 

A faint smell of wear and love hung through the shop. Sandalwood, incense, the perfume of history mixed with dust that Aziraphale had never bothered to clean up. It was a place for him to cozy up, for those few book lovers he allowed to buy books (there was perhaps one, a Mr. T.P and his friend, a Mr. N.G.) from his shop to roam and touch a few bindings.

Now there was a faint smell of ozone in the air and something else. Something too clean and ancient, something like the clouds before they rained.

Gabriel stared at him and Gabriel looked furious. The archangel had expense reports in his hands crumpled into a fist. Lightning danced at the corner of his eyes and the tips of his fingers. A few strands of perfectly combed hair had come loose as he slammed the desk closed with a loud and audible crack. The wood on the rolltop split, cracking like lightning and the archangel’s fingers left burn marks on the wood as he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at him.

When he spoke it was with the authority of his office. If Aziraphale had been an animal he would have had his tail curled between his legs, head between his paws. Those normal purple and yet brown-green eyes had gone white. 

C̴̣̠̫̜͍̪͑a̶͚̬͈̰͂̇̒͛̎̃̉͘͠ͅŕ̸̨̬̩̰͙ȩ̷̱͎͔̫͎̬̹͇̪̙̲̣̘̂ ̷̡͚͎̘̼̠̬̲̦̄̏̎͂̓̈́͜ͅţ̸̡̨̮͔̲͉̹̼̞͔̘̻́̍̔̓̒̅́͌́͗̽͌̕o̷͇͙̭̭̠̹͔͝ ̴̛̜̹̾̎̊̿̽̿̔̾̚r̷̠̂ȇ̸̢̨̖̹̦̱̗͉̣̖̮̜̪̮̏̒͐p̵͙̥̗̦͇̘͓̜͍̖͇̐ͅe̴̢̨̥̰͖̓̓̌̽̈͑̅͜a̸̧̙̼͓͓̯̜͐͆̆͌̃̌͐͠t̷̛̺̹̝̭͖̼̩̹̩̩̻̅͂̓̈́̌́̈́͗̒̐͝͝ ̵̢̢̞̹̤̱͍̹̰̳̺͉͎͇̉̌͑̐̍̏̎͐̾͂̕̚t̵̬̳̱̺̱̗͉̬̲̃͗͂̒̿̉͋̔͛̾͒̕h̸̙͙̺̣̫̤͑̀͘a̸̢͔̥̰̯̤͔͇̘̲͉͎̩̝̿̏̏̊̂͂̿̎̔̽̃̔͊͝t̷̖͕̬̻̬̣̉̀́̽͐͊͛̂̚͘ ̸̢̼̦̝̹̺̥͔͓͈͖͕̓̿̔̋́̄̂̆̍̚c̸̢̡̝̥̥̺̱̳̮̤̯̳̲͌̽̇͌͊̓̏͝͝ō̴̦̒̌̓̆̈͗͛̍͌̈́͛͘͘͝m̵̼͕͓̫̪̀̒̎͗̎͐͋͘m̶͇̺̰͉̤̻͕̲͚̮͇̃e̶̮̻̪̍̅̉̑͂͑ņ̸͓̱̮̮̙̘̖̗̓̏̉̂͛͆ṭ̸̨̣̝̘̫͇̗͕̝̬̮̯͍̒̃̇͐͑̓͜?̶̞̟̗͉̍

“...No.” Aziraphale lowered his head, “...I spoke out of turn and I beg your forgiveness. It was callous and cruel of me.” _Even if it was correct_ “...Obviously you know more of your duties then I do and I was wrong to speak to him.”

The lightning subsided and the inhuman smell and the scent of rain in the air subsided as Gabriel’s car-salesman smile returned. There was an edge to it now however, a poisonous edge.

“...Good.” He bared his fangs, “...I genuinely don’t want the kid to look like a fucking christmas tree topper. So!” He beamed and tapped Aziraphale’s shoulder,“...Upstairs. Christmas party. Three hours. Don’t be late!” 

Gabriel didn’t even bother to hide the lightning strike that took him up to heaven. It took miracling two street lights to hide his boss’s dramatic and very pissy exit.  
\---

Angels do not “party”.

That’s not to say that they do not celebrate or have their traditions. That’s not to say that while Hell may have the best music and entertainers and cooks and everything else, Angels do not celebrate in their own _way_. For every holiday Angels get to actually _sing_. 

Allow yourself a moment to meditate on the idea that angels do not sing as much as they once did. Perhaps they did more often (once, long ago, before the fall that few remember) perhaps they did before time remembered (they had nothing to fear. Evil did not exist. Danger and life were dreams written by Her hand.) they played and laughed and then Lucifer taught them jealousy. The marks of the fall are still real, and she has never had it in her to let _them_ heal because she is still mourning. Wheels within wheels. Lies within lies.

Human beings are the only animals that abuse their children. From the bad to the worse. They learned from the best - on earth as it is in heaven. Pity those who have _too much_ love as well as those who have none.

Every Christmas however, Aziraphale was reminded that Angels, even those he detested, were happy creatures by nature. Arriving upstairs, he took in the Christmas party, the hanging floating lights, the decorative glowing plants and decor. He waved at Uriel, demurely wearing their halo and watering a glowing plant of their own design. After a moment he hesitated before miracling his own into existence. Made of polished brass like material, he tapped it and it hung over his head with a familiar weight. Shaking out his wings, he managed a smile for the archangel who approached carrying a pitcher of holy water.

“Merry Christmas Aziraphale.” Uriel murmured, “We missed you at Rosh Hashanah.” The angels celebrated two holidays _officially_. The rest were charming human constructs that Aziraphale had celebrated himself. The Pagentry of Diwali, Hannukah, even the human holiday Easter. When writing to ask if he could correct the dates and bid human beings not to perhaps be so harsh during Lent heaven had sent back a very curt word. _No_. Let humans think what they would.  
He had often wondered why. 

Rosh hashanah was a bit more official than Christmas. There were traditions they observed and specific songs they sang. Christmas however-

“Well.” He shrugged, “Couldn’t get away.” 

Uriel stared at him with unsettling gold eyes before shrugging her wings and gesturing, “Party’s upstairs on the observation deck.” Heart lightening, he could already hear the singing.

They didn’t just sing celestial music, homages to the spheres she turned to make them, no they sang _carols_ and even if they were a few centuries behind (he would have begged to have heard Uriel and Sandalphon tackle “White Christmas”) they all sang beautifully and genuinely smiled at each other as they milled about and spoke and relished in the feelings of love pouring off of earth. Feeding off it like parasites, mingling around and smiling fondly down at the planet. The beings entrusted to them were smelly and terrible and wild creatures but they _did_ love them. Like humans loved their brine shrimp, or their dogs and cats if angels were being kind. A few entertained the thoughts of loving them more and soon forgot it - like a bell ringing in their minds. 

They did love them though. That much was clear.

He could believe that on nights like tonight. Wishing the party had some sort of snack table he waved at a few people before catching sight of a smaller female appearing angel with short blonde hair in a jean jacket. One of the beings called down to manage human behavior occasionally. One of the guardian angels, overseeing several children in America.

“Ramiel! So delightful to see you. How are things in the United States? Lovely. Just lovely!” Aziraphale would have killed for a glass of wine as he studied the younger angel. Short blonde hair and jeans and a t-shirt, the younger angel shrugged their snow white wings. Aziraphale smiled as Ramiel talked about technology and the strides human beings were making in “movies” and how much they longed to see humans make another classic like sound of music (that movie nonwithstanding.) 

“Just once.” Ramiel raised a hand, “Just one more so we can watch something new! I know she’d love it. I wish I could present Hamilton to Uriel...see if they’d take it to her…”

Both looked up at the sound of Uriel’s voice. The Angels had broken into “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and Uriel’s high sweet voice rang out amid the spires of Heaven. The whole room joined in and even Aziraphale found himself singing along as the group sang. The room filled with love and light -

It was that love, that pure love, that made him stop as the song concluded, “...Gabriel’s not here.”

“Why would he be?” Ramiel shrugged, “He never comes to this. I’ve never thought to ask why. All the archangels get a little stuffy around this time of year but I’ve heard he can be a real bear…” 

“Yes but that’s it. There’s nothing he loves more than the sound of his own voice and this is his big moment. _The_ moment I daresay.” Aziraphale frowned. Even he had to admit the archangel sang beautifully but here and now,“...Plus he dragged me up here. I had plans tonight.” Truthfully, he had planned to duck out as it was and meet Crowley at the bookshop for Christmas drinks so he could hear stories of Christ and the time he took him around the world to show him kingdoms that could have been his if he’d turned to darkness.

“Ooo. What sort of plans?” Ramiel raised their golden eyebrows and Aziraphale - spotting Micheal leaving the room on their phone, ignored them, following the archangel out of the room to the stairwell. Red hair done up in a festive updo, Aziraphale noted the white and red flowers in their hair before the archangel snapped their icloud out of existence, “Can I help you principality Aziraphale?”

The angels had broken out into a round of Gaudete behind them and he paused, “Well...yes Micheal, I’m sorry to interrupt you-”

The archangel continued to stare as Aziraphale tugged at his collar, “I was hoping to speak to Gabriel and wish him a Merry Christmas after all, this is his big moment…” Being curious was frowned upon in heaven but Gabriel’s behavior was something else entirely. He folded his hands in front of him as the Archangel stared him down.

“You saw him this afternoon.”

“Well but it’s the party. He should be here shouldn’t he?”

Micheal’s look very clearly said _you are wasting my time_ before returning to their phone call with a purr, glaring at Aziraphale.

It wasn’t as if he should have cared. Gabriel’s behavior was always always walking a string between being an asshole boss and being a celestial creature capable of seriously hurting him. _Sod it all_. He returned to the party, said goodbye to Ramiel, and resolved to get very drunk and have a lovely time, do charity, drop miracles all over the place, and write them off as Christmas miracles on the way to Crowley.

Heading out to the escalator he stopped dead in his tracks.

Gabriel stood there in his overcoat, wings anxiously shielding a man and a woman. Light gray and white and the glory of heaven, his wings were _huge_. In Aziraphale’s mind he saw them _trembling_. They wrapped around his guests protectively. The man was dressed in gray and white and red. The woman dressed in blue and white. She was looking up at him with joy, dark skin and hair shining in the light and the man...the young man…

Aziraphale let out a squeak and all three of them turned. The young man. He’d know him anywhere. After all, he saw him die.

Dressed in a very fine suit with a red scarf that looked like Gabriel’s (and how odd that.) Jesus Christ spread his hands, “...Principality Aziraphale right? It’s a pleasure to meet you!” he moved away from Gabriel who looked up - shocked and confused - before he grimaced and looked angry. It dissolved and the archangel turned to the woman in white and blue, holding her hands and glaring angrily at Aziraphale.

Gabriel’s smile was so sharp it could have cracked glass, “...Aziraphale. Merry Christmas-Mary, we need to leave. Lamb, I got this dinner reservation for you special...”

 _Dinner?_ Aziraphale wondered if his mouth had dropped open, _I will not even look at food Gabriel eating dinner? With-with-what-_

“Oh nonsense we’ll have time right?” Aziraphale watched Gabriel’s animal snarl shrivel up as he lowered his head and smiled with genuine fondness, “...In fact, Gabriel could you add a fourth to our party? Aziraphale would you like to join my mother Gabriel and I for Christmas dinner?” 

The bottom may as well have dropped out of heaven, “-I-I’m afraid-I-I would love to-but-”

“It wouldn’t be a bother.” Mary had the kindest eyes he’d ever seen. Warm and brown and loving. He wondered where he had seen them before and knew - it was in Jimmy Cardinal’s mother. In those humans who had given him gifts. In T.P and N.G as they bought books, it was in every human being- they were _her_ eyes, “...We’re always glad of the company.” 

“...Aziraphale. Do you like Thai food?” Gabriel’s tone was respectful and sincere, “...I have a reservation for a small diner in New York City and you are welcome to join us. I’m told it’s delicious.”

 _I shouldn’t_.

He thought of Crowley alone on Christmas. His heart cracked. He hated thinking of Crowley alone at any time but his dearest friend took Christmas hard. He couldn’t imagine how Hell celebrated - if they did at all.

 _I really shouldn’t_.

He resolved to text him as discreetly as possible on the way down, “...I would love to. Gabriel. Thank you. Thank you all.”

“Of course.” Jesus beamed, “Mother and I are still waiting for a chance to return to earth properly. However every Christmas, well. It’s a sort of birthday party…”

“Even if your Birthday is in March.” Mary rolled her eyes and gently tapped Gabriel on the arm, “You were there! You should say something to the humans about it.”

“The church sets birthdays.” Gabriel lowered his head, “And the humans like it. It makes them...happy. During one of the coldest parts of the year.” he looked uncomfortable, like it was something he kept tabs on, “The love they share - it’s the closest I’ve ever seen to yours.”

Did he sound _shy_? Anxious to please? Aziraphale miracled up a scarf to Gabriel’s annoyed look and shrugged, own wings shaking but hidden safely away. The archangel tucked his back and gestured, gaze focused wholly on Mary.

“Yes of course.” Mary smiled, “...That sense of love and warmth is hard to escape. Still…”

The son of God grinned, “Who wouldn’t want two birthdays? That’s all I’m saying. But come! Aziraphale! You must tell me of your time on earth.” Jesus offered him a hand, “...I want to hear all about it.”

Aziraphale imagined that he could feel Gabriel’s eyes in the back of his head trying to set him on fire as the son of God took his hand and they headed down to New York.  
\----

The Thai restaurant was excellent. Aziraphale had texted Crowley (Going 2 dinner with Christ!!! Want me 2 mention u?) and had gotten the response (c u tomorrow 4 gifts) and despite feeling very bad, Jesus was an absolute delight. The love that poured off of him was palpable. It filled the conversation like a warm bath and while Gabriel sat and sipped at water pretending to drink it and Jesus and Mary enjoyed Thai food Aziraphale felt…

Like he was in her presence.

That was it. That attention, that adoration. That love. Somehow he said the right thing all the time and Mary’s gentle questions were the same. The two of them glowed.

Time seemed to slow around them before Jesus pushed away his plate and smiled, “That, Gabriel, Aziraphale, was lovely. Absolutely lovely thank you both very much.”

“Agreed.” Mary rose, “I think I might excuse myself for a moment-”

“Do you want me to go with you?” Gabriel rose, “...The bathroom is down the hall and to the left…”

“Gabriel. I think I can handle myself.” She put a gentle hand on his head and it hit Aziraphale like a ton of bricks. _Gabriel is her Guardian angel._

Guardian angels were a coveted position. Every angel wanted to be one, it fulfilled every instinct they had. Ramiel was made for that purpose. He knew the archangels guarded cities, they were far too important to waste on people - ordinarily but this...

Of course. Watching her go like a dog that had lost it’s owner. The angel bowed to Jesus and paused, “I should go and...pay the bill.” he frowned, “Or at least go and look for something...important…” he frowned, glancing upward, “I specifically set something very important up.” 

“Please do.” Jesus shrugged, “I’ll be here sleeping off a food coma for a bit. I-” he paused. Three waiters were moving forward with something small and glowing. Jesus looked at Gabriel, “What’s this?”

A waiter had appeared with a cupcake and a single candle. Mary returned to the table and clapped her hands together, “Oh Gabriel you shouldn’t have!” Aziraphale’s eyes went wide as they set a small brown cupcake on the table. 

“It’s an iced tea cupcake.” The head waiter bowed, “...Thank you for spending your birthday with us.” 

“Oh Gabriel.” Mary’s eyes were full of warmth, “How lovely. You always manage something like this.” She stood up and kissed him on the cheek unbidden. Aziraphale wondered if the archangel knew his corporation’s cheeks had gone pink. Meanwhile Jesus grinned, leaning forward to blow out the candles with a grin. 

“Well.” Aziraphale blinked because the archangel looked sheepish and embarrassed, “It’s a hu-it’s a tradition. For birthdays. Happy birthday.” His voice was full of _emotion_ “I love you both very much.”

It was a memory Aziraphale was not soon to forget and he didn’t regret Gabriel’s part in it at all. A genuine act of charity? The joy on their faces? Jesus cut the cupcake into three pieces and smiled warmly at Aziraphale before beaming at Gabriel who looked joyful. Both mother and son wore looks of contentment on their faces. Sitting like an eager gremlin at the edge of the table, Gabriel didn’t take his eyes off them. Watching him, aziraphale felt sorry for him. The notion came out of nowhere, like a bolt of his lightning before he shook it off. _What_ -

Jesus leaned back before rising, “Now, it’s my turn. Mother? The restroom is-” 

“Down the hall to the left.” 

“I’ll-” Gabriel rose again, “The Bill. Maybe pick up something for you two later.” He got up and looked back, staring at Aziraphale with the same sort of look Aziraphale had seen him give Micheal _Do your job and keep them safe._

“I’ll go get the bill.”

If someone had threatened either of the two humans left in the restaurant Aziraphale was fully prepared to manifest his flaming sword - to pull it from whoever had it and battle for them. He settled for picking up his fork and spearing the cupcake half he’d given him. Mary was looking at him amused as he thought this before settling back, “I-”

He set the fork down, “I’m so sorry. You get used to eating…”

“It’s fine. It’s just cute. I didn’t think Angels ate. Get surprised every time we see it. We’ve been trying to get Gabriel to eat for millennia. I’ve baked bread for him. Won’t touch it at all. The poor thing gets nervous.” Mary chuckled, “No No, I can’t. It’s for you…” she rolled her eyes, “It gets old after awhile but he has his habits. My family had a cat like that. Only ate food out of a certain dish, insisted on actually giving us rats it killed...

“He-” Aziraphale felt compelled to defend his boss, as thanks for the excellent evening, “He’s very...pious.”

“He’s fussy.” Mary said gently, “He’ll preach about piety for hours but you should have seen him when he landed in the grass outside my family home. He was so worried about scaring me and then he stepped on to the dirt and do you know I think that was the first time he had actually touched dirt? Landed on earth?” she grinned before miming, “Eeew! What is it what is it it’s cold and wet?!-” she laughed, “Poor angel.”

Fussy fit in with Gabriel, panicked...did not. “The first time?”

“Oh I know you all have had your battles over earth, but Gabriel -” She sighed, “Big and scary and then this trembling woman! The male form is new. Suits him better if you ask me. Picture this.” Mary leaned forward, gesturing with her hands as the snow swirled outside, “I’m praying, as you do, and out of nowhere this big tangle of arms and legs and limbs and wings appears. I panic - because you know, I’m ready to fight. Then it resolves into this surprisingly fierce woman who lands and starts panicking about mud on their feet.” 

Mary rolled her eyes, “What’s wrong with mud? I have mud on my feet.” She smiled, “And Gabriel started panicking and fell backwards and cried harder and I had to sit him-her- _them_ down and talk to ...him.” Mary nodded with finality, “Talk to _him_ about it and that’s when _he_ let it slip.” she rolled her eyes, “...It’s sometimes hard to follow but I make an effort for him.”

That said…” She shrugged, “...I told him point blank. I said, “If I’m going to give birth to the son of god then I want God there to see it. It didn’t seem right to me. Especially since I was promised to Joseph. He said that was impossible. That she was busy. I said I wouldn’t do it without her. He said I didn’t have a choice, then he said _he’d_ stay so...he did.” 

Her smile was soft, “He was on my left hand, Joseph on my right and while I don’t think my husband ever figured it out he did think gabriel was the most incompetent midwife’s assistant that had ever lived. I think my favorite curse was “ The half-blind daughter of a donkey’s ass.” she paused, “He was still a She. I know you all are beings beyond our comprehension but I think it’s important to make it clear.”

Things Aziraphale had never known. Gabriel had a female corporation once upon a time. He wondered then what it had looked like and realized he had never noticed. He had never really cared.

Wow. 

A blustering archangel reappeared, expensive scarf askew,“What?” Gabriel paused, “What are we talking about?” He had returned with a bag full of food, “I got these for you both for later- where is-”

“Right here.” Jesus appeared at Gabriel’s side. Aziraphale, amused with the notion of Gabriel attending a birth of all things, noted the archangel’s tension eased the moment the son of God touched him. The similar attire-

A terribly painful thought struck him. _Gabriel’s copying him_.the archangel - the officious material archangel wasn’t truly being material - well no he was - but he was trying to look presentable to Her son. Their master. His master - That very specific style. It was...disconcerting.

Aziraphale caught Jesus staring at him and smiling a genuinely amused smile before gesturing, “Come on. I want a short walk before we go back up. I want mother to see Time Square.” 

“You can squire me about.” Mary grinned cheekily at Gabriel, offering him her slim ageless hand, “I want to see these lights my son has told me about.” 

They walked with Gabriel and Mary ahead of them and Jesus smiling. Along the way Aziraphale saw humans smiling at each other. He caught a glimpse of a man running over to help another man get food out of his car, a cop leaning down to give money to a homeless man. The whole city glowed with an aura of the love of creation and Jesus kept walking.

Time Square really was spectacular. Overly commercialized for Aziraphale’s taste. Hands in his pockets however, he took in the weather and watched Mary exclaim over the lights before Jesus put a hand on his shoulder gently.

“I think there’s someone else you wanted to be with tonight.” His voice was soft, “Thank you for coming with me instead. I think you’ll catch him just in time and when you do, give him my best?” Jesus’s voice was soft, barely a whisper, “...I have no hard feelings towards him.”

Aziraphale felt ice trickle down the back of his neck. It ran along his shoulder blades and up his wings and Jesus squeezed his shoulder, “Relax. Your secret’s safe with me. It shouldn’t be a secret as far as I’m concerned. The stuff between all of you is...older than the two of us.” He waved a hand between his mother, “I feel like I walked into the middle of a movie. Gabriel takes me to them sometimes here.”

“... _Gabriel goes to the movies?_ ”

“Oh he hates it.” Jesus said cheerfully, “But I’ll get him yet. I convinced him to override the protocols you all put in place so Walt Disney could get into heaven. He wouldn’t talk to me for a decade but I got him. It doesn’t work without an animation team but he does draw for me sometimes. And himself. And his mother. He missed _her_. I can understand that.” Jesus smiled softly, “ And for the humans up there.” Jesus sighed, “I wish we could get him a team to draw with. I love animated movies.” Jesus clapped his hands together, “Heaven producing movies. Can you imagine it? Not like that weird Christian movie industry crap that ruins my message. Really happy programs for people.”

He was learning a lot about Gabrie tonight, “He loves you. Is it … is it because he’s your mother’s guardian angel?”

“Nope.” Jesus shrugged, “He’s mine.” he beamed, “...I think he just sort of adopted my mother. In his own way he loves her. Oh he’ll never say it and he doesn’t understand it but it’s love.” When he looked at Aziraphale his eyes were filled with pain and sadness, “She doesn’t let any of you love as much as you should. When I think of what you could do with truly understanding love as humans do…”

He shook his head, “...But I understand why. You may come to see that too, and when you do I urge you to pity all involved despite all other inclinations.”

Aziraphale frowned, “Why?”

“Because you need to understand she’s trying to protect you. She’s trying to protect you and you can’t protect your children forever. Gabriel, the rest of them, you. She blames herself for what happened to all of your...kind.” he shook his head, “She could learn a few things from my earthly mother.”

“What’s this about earthly mothers?” The timing was too excellent as Mary returned, a blue and white ghost amid the lights, “Talking about how I am an excellent parent? I agree.” 

“...I also agree.” Jesus grinned before studying Gabriel, “Listen, Gabriel let me give you a gift this year. I know our little earthly excursions are supposed to be our time together - and since you were kind enough to give me a gift by having Aziraphale dine with us, let’s you and I spend the day together tomorrow.”

Gabriel looked like he’d been punched, “...You? And I-? I -”

“I convinced Walt Disney to draw you. I think he did very well. He made you a magnificent eagle. And then a cute pigeon. We could even watch sound of music.” Jesus laughed, “I’ll sit through it for you.”

“Come and see my garden.” Mary murmured, “...Aziraphale you’re more than welcome if you come up at any time dear, but tomorrow Gabriel…?”

“I-I have meetings-” The archangel looked panicked, “I can-I can’t-”

“I thought you said Micheal was covering your meetings?” Aziraphale leapt in, grateful - truly grateful for the situation at hand and for the first time - perhaps ever (he couldn’t recall) truly wanting to be kind to his superior, “...You said that. I thought I recalled it. Micheal is taking over my meetings. I need a day off.”

“I-” Gabriel raised a finger and nodded weakly looking - grateful, “...Yes. I did. Thank you for reminding me Aziraphale. I will send them an email about it now. Reminding them.” Aziraphale repressed a small noise of glee about the stuffy archangel ruining Micheal’s Christmas day of rest. When he’d finished, the archangel looked relieved, “...There.”

He flicked out his icloud and found himself being hugged by Mary and Jesus Christ, one after the other. It was a short walk back to their escalator that appeared like a ghost. the darker escalator downstairs dark for the night. Mary left first, climbing the escalator and waving at him. Jesus, drawing in a deep breath, raised his hands.

“Peace on earth, and goodwill towards men!” The king of kings spoke as the bell chimed for Christmas Day, “Merry Christmas to all and may Joy be with each and every one of you!”

With a wink and a flourish, the son of God was gone leaving the two angels standing alone in the lobby..

Silence hung between them. The pure silence of genuine peace. For an hour, for two hours, it was her will made flesh. Gabriel broke the silence.

“...He always does that. Every city we go to. A whole day of miracles. His prayers count for one miracle for every human involved. It means paperwork for months.” The archangel was smiling, “I can’t stand it. It’s precious.”

“...He was…” Aziraphale paused, “Absolutely lovely.”

“He _is_.” Gabriel growled, “Is. Aziraphale. He is lovely. He is eternal and always will be and just because they-” He swung a hand, “...They didn’t _deserve_ him doesn’t mean he doesn’t stop loving them and I…” 

The archangel’s hands shook, “...I wish I had one third of his capacity for goodness. Sweetness. Kindness. Patience. For them.” the archangel sighed, “I would be a better man, a better Celestial being, a better anything if I could manage just that. But I uh-” He tugged at his scarf, “...I never could.” his normally poison smile was weak, “I keep trying! Keep making the effort. That’s what matters. Maximum effort!”

Aziraphale put it together that Gabriel really didn’t understand he was copying him, that he was trying to be this being he loved so well. Not worshipped, but loved. That he had known as every part of himself, itself. Very rarely did he recognize that Gabriel was a genderless ageless being like he was. He had adapted to his male form so well...trying to look like his master...

“He said you were his guardian angel.”

“Ha!-” Gabriel sighed and rolled his eyes He paced away and then back, “...And you’re going to report it to Angelic Resources right?”

“Why would I?” Aziraphale frowned, “Everyone has one, I know most of the duties go to us (not him sadly, never him, but…) but to bigger...more important figures I assumed...one of you…”

Gabriel put his hands on his hips before dragging a hand through his hair, “...He wasn’t supposed to have one.”

 _What?_ The idea was a bit absurd but the more he untangled it, the more he unwrapped the pieces of the puzzle the more he realized. _Of course he wouldn’t_. Why would she risk someone having such devotion to someone who wasn’t her? The only way it would have gotten through was if she had secretly wanted it to happen …

And had relied on an overzealous archangel with a desire to be powerful and well known and loved - who had apparently a deeper capacity for love then one principality Aziraphale had guessed - to make the switch.

It was the briefest flickering thought that he buried deep and resolved to never think of again. _She used Gabriel and trapped him into this._. She had used one of her favorite angels to look after her Son and essentially tied him to a being he could never fully adore completely.

Relationships with children, with adults, as guardian angels were zealously guarded. They were the essence of what they were supposed to do. As an agent of earth he had always been exempt but he had hoped...perhaps one day that some lucky child might find him there to care for them and their wishes…

But they stayed with them for life. Some oversaw zodiac signs, some oversaw individual humans. There were an uncounted number amongst their ranks, just as many angels for just as many personal demons for humans but those who were bonded...they loved them. They couldn’t help but love them. Gabriel’s personal gambit had condemned him to love a being that had a purpose beyond his capability to understand.

His hope however, for the first time, seemed...perverse because Gabriel looked up at heaven like a creature and not like a man before he sighed.

“He wasn’t supposed to have one - but he was supposed to I guess? And Mary asked-” he gestured weakly with one long fingered hand, “She sort of ordered me to bring her down and when I couldn’t I had to think of a way to be there.”

The thought that Gabriel knew he was possibly being used made Aziraphale sick. Horrified. He buried it deeper beneath the pure white of a snowbank in his mind and spoke again.

“She said she told you she wanted God there at the birth of Her son.”  
‘  
“She was very insistent about it! What was I supposed to do? I kept trying to palm her off but this was maybe like-the 2nd message I’d delivered and she was so young and scared and I was worried I’d freak her out. You got one of the first corporations but the rest of us were still…” He wiggled his fingers, “What’d she say. A pile of wings and arms and eyes that dwarfed the horizon?” He shrugged, looking up at the buildings, “Humans build things like this and they can’t handle a Celestial form. Go figure right?”

Aziraphale’s form which had always been very soft and warm and huggable could only imagine what it might look like to have an archangel descend from the heavens. Those he talked to about Gabriel panicked. Those who he talked to about any of them panicked. Their very existence warped human beings. Archangels especially. Him especially. Gabriel was written down as a terrifying figure.

Mary was special indeed.

“So I slipped on my female corporation, then I switched to a male and she already knew it was me. And I figured I had to be there so I had to come up with an excuse and Micheal helped me rewrite the paperwork and I put my name down and there I was. I went down as often as I could.”

“I didn’t see you-”

“Guardian Angels get special passes.” Gabriel checked his phone messages before smiling to himself and looking relaxed, “...You don’t know we’re there. And why would you? I wasn’t there for _you._ Just like how the enemy doesn’t know you’re there.”

The two stared each other down.

“...Right.” 

Gabriel stared at something on his phone again before tucking it away. He didn’t meet his subordinate’s gaze, “...That was uh...quick thinking. Reminding me. About Micheal.”

“Oh yes. Quite.” Aziraphale shrugged, “I figured you had forgotten. We talked about it this afternoon.” _Where you nearly made it rain in my bookstore and ruined my books._

“...Right.” Gabriel frowned, “Right. I did forget. Well you know, I mean tomorrow is a holiday for them...You might as well take one too. I uh...I’ll...the expense reports will keep right?” he shrugged weakly, “Or well. I could do them now. Also uh - we had a new policy put in. Free reign for Miracles Christmas Day.”

By _new policy_ Aziraphale put together it was _made up on the spot_ but Gabriel was looking at him hopefully, like he had tried to do something decent but without Jesus it was _hard_. Hopefully he’d remember his bravado when it came time to tally the accounts for the second quarter.

He had given his existence to him and to her. _I wonder what it would be like to do that for someone._ to live totally for them. He wondered if he could handle it.

He wanted to try.

“Have fun tomorrow.” Aziraphale smiled, “Give them my best. Give everyone my best!”

“I’ll be back in a bit for those reports-” Gabriel stopped and moved over to him with lightning speed, “...Oh! I almost forgot. That kid.”

Aziraphale stared, “...Kid?”

“Kid. Yeah. Jimmy Cardinal. I left him something. Will you make sure he got it? His church group?”Gabriel waved, “Maybe I was kind of ...a jerk...and he wasn’t that bad but I figured I should do something for him and all the kids…” 

He waved it off, “I’ve got a long night of paperwork ahead of me if I want to get ahead of it so I can take the day off tomorrow.” 

He bounded away and Aziraphale - thinking fondly - paused, “Wait Gabriel!”

“Aziraphale -” the archangel looked annoyed, “I’ve got to go-”

“Merry Christmas.” The principality of the east gate smiled. The archangel smiled back, the lightning cracked and he was gone.

It was a short jump back to London.

The church of the holiest miracles was stepping out into Christmas day and each one of the kids was holding a lily attached to a package. The kids were chattering as the parents were thanking the priests. Aziraphale watched, heart full of love and peace …

“...I was so good mama. Did you see how good I was?” Jimmy Cardinal was fading fast, clinging to his mother’s shoulders. His mother, smiling and holding her wife’s hand, beamed, “Baby you were the best Gabriel.” 

“Can I have my bear?” the little boy grabbed at his mother, “I wanna name him rusty.”

It was a big soft bear. Aziraphale saw the mother hand it over and the boy snuggled it close. _Well done Gabriel. Well done indeed._ In his own way he was a decent sort. Maybe not the best angel…

But he tried.

He was positive the good will wouldn’t last but he’d enjoy it while he had it. It was pleasing to think of Gabriel sitting with Mary and Jesus, watching Sound of Music, admiring Mary’s garden, watching Walt Disney draw. His boss deserved to relax.

Just like one other person.  
\---

Aziraphale didn’t have to knock as the door opened and Crowley, clad in a black bathrobe snake eyes wide, hissed at him, “...Well no really that’s uncalled for-”

“Sorry. Early morning surprise and also do you want to fucking explain what the hell you did last night?” the demon smelled vaguely of alcohol, “Miss our dinner? I made reservations! And lying about Christ-” He pointed, “Low blow. Low fucking blow! Oh sorry I’m going to lie about where I was but here’s some flowers to make it better-”

“What I did?” Aziraphale blinked, “...I beg your pardon, I told you exactly where I was! If you can’t bloody handle that that’s on you!”

“...So it wasn’t you.” Crowley withdrew, features softening, “...Well. Damn. I-I thought-” He nearly dropped his mug, “You’d better come and see.”

Padding into Crowley’s living space, Aziraphale’s eyes went wide. Standing in the middle of the table was one of the most beautiful displays of Irises he’d ever seen. Purple and red and white. The air filled with their fragrance.

“...I thought-” Crowley frowned, “I thought-I don’t want to know what I thought. I thought you sent these though.” He handed Aziraphale a card and sat down, nearly falling out of his chair, “But if you didn’t…”

The card wasn’t signed. In a neat script it said “No hard feelings.” 

“It was just - it was really good it had a good aura like you do…” Crowley scratched his head, “But if you didn’t.”

“He mentioned you.” Aziraphale murmured, “He did seem like he knew you.”

Crowley’s jaw dropped. He stared at his hands and rubbed them over his head, “...Fuck. Fucking fuckstick. Fuck fuck fucking shit-holy fucking shit-”

“Crowley.” Aziraphale frowned, “...No need for language like that on his birthday.”

“...Fuck.” the snake hissed, before lowering his head, “I should have sent him a card or something. Can you do that? Probably get tossed out at some point. Damn. Still I would have liked to do something he was...he wasn’t a bad sort. Truthfully felt bad about all the things I said. “It’s the best job ever Crawly” and “You’re the only man we’ve got we can send…” they got to me and I just…”

He sat down, “...he was pretty cool. Jesus. Not Hastur. Whole thing was Hastur and a nasty bastard named Asmodeous’s idea.” Crowley, “Can’t say I was just following orders. Be a damn cop out if I did…”

Aziraphale sat down beside him and put his hand on his and thought about how the son of God had said how hard it was to love and how she was afraid of them getting hurt, “...Is. Crowley. Is pretty cool.”

“...I miss him.” Crowley, Crawly that was flopped uselessly on the couch, “I don’t think he minded I was an animal.” He sighed and stared at Aziraphale.

“I hated to do it. To hang him over that. I mean I could have thought to do a million other things to him but he wasn’t a bad sort.”  
The demon pointed a finger at the angel, “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”

“Of course not.” Aziraphale sat down, “I’ve got gifts for you.”

“I maaay have gotten you something. Then again I may not have.” Crowley chuckled, “Nah who’m I kidding. Let’s have coffee and you can tell me about what you two talked about. We’ll do gifts at brunch.”

“You made brunch reservations!”  
\---

**Author's Note:**

> There was a fandom idea about Gabriel being Mary and Jesus's Archangel and so I had to build on that. It's become one of my favorite headcanons for the bastard.
> 
> I stand by my notion there are no real bad guys in Good Omens. Debate your mama not me it’s a morality play.  
> FUCK I am a Christian and I am writing this on a Sunday thank goodness this is fanfiction.


End file.
